6:30am:
My alarm goes off
‘I’m not up for work today’
I call and tell my boss
I roll over and go back to sleep
11am:
I hear my phone beep
It’s the psychologist’s office returning my call
‘This week we can’t get you an appointment at all’
9am Monday is the earliest timeslot
But when you’re depressed, four days seems a lot
11:30am:
Still lying in bed
Negative thoughts taking over
Like clouds in my head
Like clouds in my head
12am midday:
I walk to the shower
Clutching my towel, crying,
Trying not to fall over
Although not visible, I’m hurting inside
Wondering whether this feeling will ever subside
1pm:
My friend sends a text
‘How are you going?’
I send her one next
She calls me, we talk,
I cry and she listens
I tell her, ‘I don’t see the point of existence’
2pm:
Haven’t eaten all day
Order two pizzas to be on their way
2:40pm:
The doorbell rings
I look for my wallet in my big mess of things
Go downstairs, open the door
Take the boxes of pizza and place them on the floor
As I give him the cash,
We both ask the question:
“How has your day been?’
With a caring expression
‘I asked first,’ he says with a smile
I tell him I’m sick, a little white lie
He tells me he hopes I have a good day,
And I think to myself as he walks away
Pizza boy brought me more than just a margherita
He gave me just what I needed along with my pizza
